To Switch or not to Switch

How did I find out that I wanted to be dominant as well?

Those who know me, know that I am no push-over in any way. I have my own opinions, I am stubborn, I want things to be done my way and it is natural for me to automatically want to be "the leader" when working in a group...

But from being somewhat dominant in one's everyday life and to want to be sexually dominant as well, there's a big step.

I had my first experiences as a "Top" with a vanilla ex-boyfriend of mine. I mentioned a little about that in a previous post, so I will not repeat myself too much. Suffice to say that it was more or less only "verbal" dominance, a little innocent bondage and very VERY softcore erotic pain stimulation.

Later on, during the time when I was involved with the married couple (also described previously), I felt an irrisistable urge to dominate and unfold my latent sadistic fantasies myself. I spoke with them about this need I had and we decided to find a suitable "victim" together...which we did fairly quickly as this couple had been in the BDSM scene for ages and had many interesting contacts.

They mentored me on different techniques, safety, toys...and the rest I basically already knew from experiences on my own body. At first we played together...then they pulled more and more out of the game, leaving the hot little masochist for me alone :D What a thrill it was!!! Before me was a willing person...excited and eagerly accepting my every wish and enduring/enjoying my mean little fantasies. I learned a lot about my own sexuality those times and I am still honored that my little play-slut gave me the beautiful gift of true submission for the very first time.

After "breaking up" with this wonderful couple, who I still see socially, I explored my newfound interest in dominance with me on the "giving end". I found a boyfriend who was both submissive and masochistic and we had a great time together and a very gratifying relationship.

Wait a sec...that hasn't a lot to do with spanking?!

No, not a lot to do with spanking in itself.

Denmark hasn't got the same "tradition" for oldfashioned D/s spanking relationships. There are lots and lots of BDSM couples, but very few (!!!!!) couples who only enjoy the act of spanking. To be honest, I wouldn't be able to have a spanking-only relationship as a Domme. There are so many aspects that turn me on in the BDSM genre and I am not sure that I would want to be without them... in the long run at least.

Weakness for forced feminisation

Before all of you Doms out there run screamning away, let me ad that I only like subs to dress up as sissygirls. I would never be able to get turned on by a transvestite trying to dominate me...Sorry, it's just not my cup of tea.

There is something immensely humiliating and exciting about punishing a grown man...dressed up like a little girl. I love to force her to shave (and I never do "forget" to call him "her" when trannied up) all over, inspecting her to my satisfaction, helping her apply makeup...forcing her out in town with me to go shopping...

And well...There are lots of things I enjoy doing to sissygirls that aren't as innocent as that also ;)

"Mirror-turn-ons"

I think that my turn ons as a Top and as bottom are very much alike. The same "games" fascinate me and there really isn't that big a difference.

I certainly use bondage a lot more when Topping, as I like the fact that my partner is utterly helpless and in my complete command. As a bottom, I don't really like bondage...it seems too stationary and I seldomly want to give up that much control.

Humiliation (not the mean kind though - I am always very caring, even when I'm being "mean") is something I like to use a lot too...but that I don't always enjoy being on the recieving end of.

Other than that, I like the use of the same toys and implements and a lot of the same fantasies go through my mind.

How can I use the same fantasies on both sides?

It is not as if I fantasize "twice as much" in order to cover both needs ;) Curiously, my fantasies often don't have "faces". I can thus imagine myself as both the "torturer" and "the victim".

Before having come out of the closet so to say, I sometimes indulged in selfspanking as well (although very rarely). I would actually be turned on by both the fact that I did the spanking...and the fact that I recieved it. It may sound a little skitzophrenic, but it did work and that's what matters after all.

Dominating girls...

I discovered my bisexuality a long time ago. The female body has always fascinated me...if looking at two greek statues, one female and one male, I would in fact almost always prefer the female. The curves and build of the body is absolutely beautiful! I'm not saying men aren't though ;) It's just a different kind of beautiful.

Even so, I could not imagine myself being in a lesbian relationship. My attraction to other women is mainly sexual and I have only had a crush on another girl once in my life.

I prefer Topping in general when it comes to women. Who wouldn't want to Top when the price is getting to spank a wonderfully bouncy full female bottom?! There is also something about female subs that I generally adore. I LOVE blushing young ladies and I LOVE taking advantage of this shyness.

To Switch or not to Switch...which side do I ultimately prefer?

Don't ask that, please! I honestly don't know. I am always turned on 100% in whatever "role" (in lack of better term) that I'm in. I am not the type to switch every five minutes and in fact, I prefer not to switch with the same partner at all - although I have enjoyed this from time to time if the other Switch is very strong as a dominant.

Usually though, I am perfectly satisfied in whatever role I'm in as my turn ons are vast and intense either way.

A few pictures from sweet memories...

Top: Suspension bondage of (fantastic) female sub, head down, mummified.

Middle: From a wonderful trip in Sweeden. Beautiful sweet girl - an honour to have had the pleasure of her submission.

Bottom: Same girl as the middle pic. Bound out in the snow...Very very cold...I had many sweet little pleas to be let inside - and a great time in front of the fireplace afterwards.